A couple of weeks after I spontaneously proposed to Nancy we launched "Parents' Weekend." Our mission was first to tell Jack and Evelyn that I had proposed to their daughter. So, Phase 1 took us to Kansas City. Then we were to drive to Delia to inform Joe and Vernadell that I had landed a city girl.
The weekend began with a trip to a jewelry store to pick out rings. We found matching yellow gold bands. Her engagement ring bore a modest diamond. Later we inscribed I John 4:19 on the inside: "We love because He first loved us." That verse reminded us that our love came the from heart of God. Her wedding ring was in need of repair going into 2008, but we just never got it fixed. I left it with her six weeks ago.
Since then, I pondered what to do with the band I wore for 33 years. Conversation with lots of folks left me convinced there was no consensus on how long one wears the departed's token. It was clearly "up to me."
For some reason, I didn't want to leave the ring on my left hand for years. That seemed no longer "correct" for some reason. Furthermore, I wanted to mark the end of the covenant we undertook on August 9, 1975. We had by God's grace kept our promises to one another reasonably well. To change the location of my wedding ring seemed an act of sober celebration for the completion of that contract.
I was not ready to put it in a drawer. Nancy's departure is still fresh, and she is never far from my thoughts. So, I decided to move the ring to the other hand. But when? I didn't want to make the transfer just any old time. I picked a special day. On October 6 we remembered Nancy at the WHM Board Meeting. I told the story of my impulsive proposal to the group before they presented me with their resolution passed to honor her. Then that night in our room, I switched the ring to my right hand, as I tearfully rejoiced that we had run a good race together. It was 34 years to the day after we first promised to make a joint journey.
Honestly, it has left me with an uncomfortable feeling. The ring feels tighter on my right hand, but I don't mind. The tightness on my finger reflects the tightness I feel in my throat several times a day. Six weeks after the covenant ended, it is right to feel the pain of having crossed the line together years earlier than expected.
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2 comments:
Brother,It has been a few weeks since I last read what is on your heart, Not because I didn't want to but because of technicial difficulties. I am Glad to be able to hear your heart again, and as alway's. Your words inspire me and keep me seeing my Fathers face. You did run the race well and like any true champion your racing days are not over. I am Blessed to watch a true champion willing to run a race that He is asked to do.
HE IS at the Finish line waiting on you.
Ger.
I can only imagine the rush of memories and emotions as you transferred your ring from one hand to the other. Though I feel I am walking in unfamilar territory, not having walked in your shoes, I nevertheless want to offer one thought I had.
It seems to me a wedding band serves as a springboard of memories of the faithfulness of God throughout time, and that, in its new position on your right hand, can continue to be a steady reminder of how God showed up for 34 years. We know He will continue to do so, because He is faithful. Your ring can remind you of all you are thankful for, and of all your hands got to do when joined with Nancy's. Your ring can further be a testimony to others who are tempted to give up on the hard business of living and forgiving in marriage. It can be the trigger of a story told to someone who needs to hear of "Dan and Nancy's Journey" and their God. Who knows what God may do? I believe that humble, well-worn band of gold will continue to be a quiet witness from its new position on your right hand of the love of God to you and others for the rest of your life.
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