discharged!

The last 36 hours have been very hectic. Yesterday morning didn't start well because it has been hard for Nancy to get back own her feet. Pain is a constant companion for Nancy right now. As the day wore on we began to work toward getting her home. We took delivery on a hospital bed, clearing a space for it in our LIVING room. We also had to arrange home nursing, and therapy visits.
Meanwhile, the medical staff was monitoring the aftermath of a blood transfusion, reviewing one last chest x-ray and finetuning her meds.

Anyway, I got her in the car around 5pm, and a few minutes later, our next door neighbor Jim and I escorted her into the house. She was peppy enough to remark about the scandal caused by the site of her being led about by two married men. Definitely, her mood is up, and she is resting better at home.

Meanwhile, Bob and Ann arrived from Kansas to provide wonderful support during this transition. My brother and his wife have wonderful, wise servant hearts. Overall, we feel we are being carried by a huge army of prayers and kindnesses. Nancy's soul is nourished by every gesture of love.

However, we do need some space between now and Tuesday. Chris and Leah arrive tonite, and Nancy's brother and sister will be with us over the next couple of days.
Pray for this "Freeman time"...It has been a while since they were together and we trust the Spirit to use that time as HE wishes.

This journey has taught me to give thanks for many of the blessings I tend to take for granted. The last day and half were busy and intense, but filled with his mercy. We are thankful for this day...and trust him for grace to meet what comes tomorrow.

a few pieces fall into place

A better day today. Nancy is a bit stronger. She got a blood transfusion which should strengthen her. Slowly, she managed to get back on her feet and walk just a bit. She may be headed home tomorrow! However, her lung needs to mend just a bit more from the complications around her port insertion. DO PRAY ABOUT THAT.

We did conference with her oncolgist today. Here's the deal: We will take a shot at a couple of chemo drugs over the next few weeks. That will show us if we can slow down the raging forest fire burning inside her body. We should know how that goes soon. What happens next? As Dr. Nordlinger said, "You guys seem religious. All i Can say is, 'It's in God's hands.'"

We will leave it there...although sometimes I want him to let me drive. And I long to drive with Nancy in the seat next to me for a long time to come.

picking up the pieces

It's almost like the picture of our lives was carved up this month and then dumped out on the table for us to reassemble....like a confusing game of "speed jigsaw."
I spent time sorting through this bewildering pile.
Nancy's current medical condition. Today we learned that lymph nodes around her bowels are cancerous. She has complications arising after the insertion of her port, but the Heimlich tube came out today. She is using morphine for the pain, and drifts in and out of a dreamlike state. I am wondering how long we should try to mount a counterattack through chemo. Should she come home? And what would that look like? Unfortunately, I couldn't connect with her oncolgist today. That was disappointing. Don't worry, I will be relentless tomorrow.

I did spend some time at the office, downloading the details of WHM's candidate week due to start Sunday. It helped to clear that off the deck for now.

The warm love of God somehow burst through the dark clouds of this day. Everywhere I turn people offer to help. Her room saw a parade of visitors. Some of them even met Nancy's childhood friend, Boo Boo Bear, and heard about our adventures with Boo Boo and the other stuffed animals we have. Later KJ and I sang children's songs about Jesus and held Nancy's hand as she settled to rest. Then we headed home, leaving her to have time with Josh, whose gentle heart so reminds me of Nancy.

Forget sorting this out. I just moved some pieces around the table today. Only our Loving Heavenly Father can put this mess in order. I will leave it to HIM.

A day requiring faith

We named this site "Danandnancysjourney" hoping that the saga would be long, chronicling our fight with breast cancer, the travels of two missionaireis and the joy of growing old togethr. But now it appears this part of our journey might be fairly short.

Yesterday we learned that cancer has spread fast. Her liver bears many cancer cells. Unless the new round of chemo significantly reverses this trend, this leg of the journy may well be a matter of weeks, according to one of her doctors.

She remains in the hospital today as they continue to work with her. Not sure for how long.

Nancy understands this situation. And she remains Nancy, thinking of others, joking, demonstrating the childlike faith that won me to an adult walk with Jesus, and her. We have been overwhelmed by the way HE has loved us through New Life Church, WHM, our neighbors and family. If you are in the area, feel free to touch base, knowing that we might not respond if the timing is not right.

I will not try to tell you how to pray. I expect that this is a time when the Spirit will intercede with sighs too deep for words.

One last thing. When I kissed her good night last night, she had never looked more beautiful.

hard news

Nancy had wanted us to pray for biopsy results before Memorial Day and that prayer was answered. But not with the news we had wanted to hear. The test confirmed that her cancer has reached her liver. This was an aggressive path. The doctors are moved right away. She went into the hospital to get a port and received chemo today. They are completing a battery of tests to define the scope of the situation. She may come back home tomorrow or Monday. We'll see.
The kids are all here and their support is wonderful. This is a family weekend, and we are wanting the time to be together and let Nancy get some rest after a rigours couple of days. So, if you are in our area, wait for me to put out the "visitors welcome sign" before you show up at our door.

It has been a stunning three weeks. We need prayer to begin the next leg of the journey with faith. And we need prayer that the disease will be rolled back by the One who know how we are formed.

biospy day + 1

Not such a good day. Nancy had some nausea and is pretty listless. She is tired of feeling sick.
We will see the doctor again tomorrow. I am glad we will check in before the long weekend. But we don't expect any conclusive diagnosis 'til Tuesday.
Meanwhile, KJ fixed us some wonderful pasta with turkey sausage for dinner. We are glad for her company. It was also good to have 2 of our pastors stop by to pray for Nancy this afternoon. Those acts and others remind us that we are not alone. His people once again extend HIS love to us as we walk this road of unsettling uncertainty.

Test is over....The wait goes on

Nancy is resting comfortably after today's procedure. She seems relieved to have cleared that hurdle. She received some needed IV fluids this morning which strenthened her, and the sedition gave her some good sleep this afternoon.

Now we wait again. But we have reinforcements. KJ is home after graduating Magna Cum Laude from FIT. Leah and Chris will bring the fam down from Fulton for the weekend, and Josh, Anne and Lucia are staying in close touch.

It is good to be a family as we suffer this trial. We are not used to supporting Nancy in this way; she has always been a source of stablity and nurture for us all. But it is a great chance to find ways to return a few of the gestures of love she has given us for many, many years!

on the eve of a biopsy

Tomorrow at 7:30am Nancy will check in for her liver biopsy. Waiting for this test has felt long and difficult. She has not felt well for a couple of weeks, and we don't expect to have a plan to fight this current slide until we meet with her oncologist the day after Memorial Day.

Today at staff prayer meeting we discussed that familiar passage where Jesus offers us a light yoke. I confess I am not sure how to wear this yoke easily. But these days of unsettled uncertainty challenge us to live one moment at a time, to treasure the simple joy of partnering with Nancy as we walk this road, and to marvel at her capacity to think of others, even while she waits.

Then, too, I was reminded that the invitation of the passage was not primarily a custom made yoke that would make all of life painless. No, Jesus invites us to come to HIM. Pray for us as we walk through the next week. Ask JESUS call us to Himself in real ways, and for us to know the comfort of his embrace.

unsetttling uncertainty

The recent preliminary tests have ruled out the more normal stuff. And now we are explorinng the possibility that her cancer has returned. The second round of tests have dictated the need for a liver biopsy. That test will be conducted on Wednesday May 21. We hope to have a definitive result when we meet with our oncologist on Tuesday May 27.

Whatever is going on is not a normal progression. Both we and our doctor are surpriseed. But, we are trying not to run ahead with speculation. HE is driving us to our knees.
Join us there. We need prayer for faith, patience and yes healing!!

our last student crosses the finish line

Just got a text from KJ saying she had e-mailed her last paper to her professor up at FIT.
We are so proud and thankful to share this moment with her!

in praise of mothers

We are going through some follow up tests just now. Waiting for scheduling and results is no fun.
But today, I paused to honor some important mothers I have known:

My own mom who gave me life.

Nancy who gave life to our 3 wonderful offspring.

Anne and Leah who presented Nancy and me with 3 great grandkids from their wombs----soon to be 4!

Day #2 Sudden Pain

My Oncologist called this morning to say my blood work showed my liver enzymes are up! This is most likely because of all the meds that have been put into my body. So she ordered an ultrasound of my liver and a CAT scan of my lung. The x-ray of my lung was clear. That is great news. I am still feeling yucky and weak with a low grade fever.

Please pray for our faith thru this.

sharp pain and sudden fear

This morning Nancy woke up with a stabbing shoulder pain and a slight fever. A year ago she would have taken some Tylenol and waited to see if the discomfort went away.

But our new reality led to a phone call and a trip to the oncologist. Both her chest x-ray and blood tests were good. Most likely, she has developed pleurisy, a not uncommon malady in recovering cancer patients. So, we are on an anti-biotic, waiting to see if she gets better.

Another unsettling day living out the new normal of our lives. Another day wishing it was not so. Another day learning to cast our cares HIS way.

Dinner and and a Picture

Last night Nancy and I had our first real date since Christmas. We enjoyed dinner at the new Cheescake Factory in the Willow Grove Mall. It was a great time. Nancy had just gotten home from NYC after spending Friday and Saturday morning helping KJ ship stuff home. So, clearly she is getting stronger each day!

I find myself wishing that the journey was over now, that the end of winter marked the end of our brush with the Unwelcome Visitor. But Monday Nancy has a "six month" mammogram. There is no reason to expect that we will find anything new. But the fear is there.

Pray that we will rest in His goodness as we wait for results. And pray for a clear X-Ray.

Just Another Day's Healing

So, yesterday was interesting. Having any part of the body "microwaved" is not fun, but the "procedure" is now behind me. And was certainly less intense than cancer surgery. I have even went back to work today, although there were a few rocky moments in the day.

Meanwhile, I shaved 30 points off the top number of my blood pressure reading this past month. And processed sugar has disappeared from the house.

Wow, did I just write that passage? What is this General Hospital?? Anyway, Nancy is much stronger now that it has been three weeks since her chemo. We walk the dog together almost every night. It is good to be making progress during this healing season.