It's almost like the picture of our lives was carved up this month and then dumped out on the table for us to reassemble....like a confusing game of "speed jigsaw."
I spent time sorting through this bewildering pile.
Nancy's current medical condition. Today we learned that lymph nodes around her bowels are cancerous. She has complications arising after the insertion of her port, but the Heimlich tube came out today. She is using morphine for the pain, and drifts in and out of a dreamlike state. I am wondering how long we should try to mount a counterattack through chemo. Should she come home? And what would that look like? Unfortunately, I couldn't connect with her oncolgist today. That was disappointing. Don't worry, I will be relentless tomorrow.
I did spend some time at the office, downloading the details of WHM's candidate week due to start Sunday. It helped to clear that off the deck for now.
The warm love of God somehow burst through the dark clouds of this day. Everywhere I turn people offer to help. Her room saw a parade of visitors. Some of them even met Nancy's childhood friend, Boo Boo Bear, and heard about our adventures with Boo Boo and the other stuffed animals we have. Later KJ and I sang children's songs about Jesus and held Nancy's hand as she settled to rest. Then we headed home, leaving her to have time with Josh, whose gentle heart so reminds me of Nancy.
Forget sorting this out. I just moved some pieces around the table today. Only our Loving Heavenly Father can put this mess in order. I will leave it to HIM.
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10 comments:
My dear friends, I am encouraged that God is warming and present. I, personally, am sick to my stomach. I can't believe the words I have heard. I compartmentalize and do my work. I compartmentalize and then fall apart. I am so sorry for this harsh reality.
I know, as we all do, that God is present in suffering. I still fall apart.
I love you, Nancy - Dan, Leah, Karen, Josh. You are in good hands and you are strong together. God has made you strong and a great family.
I, personally, am praying for that long life to grow old together! - But, Dan, you have forgotten, YOU are already old!!!
Love, Becca H.
Oh guys -- we wish we could take this cup away from you. The whole Body is around you, watching and waiting and weeping and hoping and praying with you. Love you.
Dear Friends, we hurt with you and are praying for you. We pray for courage to walk this part of your faith adventure with a comfort & confidence that comes from Him.
The comfort of living in Him, experiencing His nearness as he holds your hands amidst the pain, the sadness, the tears. The confidence of trusting Him, knowing His compasionate rule in your lives, as he gifts you with each day.
He is the ancient, present and coming King - so we have hope. We love you, Eric & Karen
Message from Ben Viss:
Hello Macha family!
My father posted something on how you are doing. I did not know this until now. It was sad news for me to hear. I'm so sorry, you have to experience this as a family.
Just wanted to let you know that we are praying for you, even over here in The Netherlands, and maybe we can see eachother soon, as my wife & I are moving to NJ in five weeks!
Much love through us...from Him!
Benjamin Viss
Dan & Nancy -
I also got a link to your blog from Dad and am now in prayer for you all. My 3 year old son Jeremiah has a number of people that we pray for every night for healing and we will add Nancy to the list.
It doesn't seem that long ago Dan that I was working at the WHM office for the summer pestering you to make deadline for your prayer letter! :-)
There really are no words I can provide to you. There really are no words that describe the sinking in my heart when I read your blog. But I know that God is good and will be glorified! And I trust that God will provide you all with everything that you need.
Much love,
Sarah (Viss) Rapier
dan, what a good word picture, of a jigsaw puzzle all over your dining room table.
it is so very difficult to read your news. i, like becca, know that God is with you, but there are times i fall apart too.
you are part of a wonderful and loving family, not just immediate, but international. we all love you and yours and pray for God's strength at this time.
we are but a phone call away if you need anything.
love
judi
Guys,
Not sure what else to write except that we love you and are praying.
Dan P.
suffering - a journey we are not meant to take alone; we're praying!
cos and rachel gardner
i'm so sorry, Dan & Nancy. I'm praying and asking the God of comfort to be as real as this unexpected suffering.
Dear Dan and Nancy,
As a former New Lifer and WHMer, we don't know you well, but we do know you! I got the word on Nancy from Dan and Gini, and want you to know that you are in my heart and in my prayers. May God strengthen and comfort you. Praying over here in Berlin... Lyn Newbrander
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