Tonight we celebrate.

Katharine Demars was born to Leah and Chris at 9:40 this evening in Oswego, NY. 7 Pounds, 9 Ounces.

A safe delivery! Leah and Nancy are doing the postgame analysis by cell phone as it nears 10:30.

I will spare you the details.......but we rejoice that the Author of Life has been pleased to visit our family once again. May Katharine walk in His steps all the days of her life!!!

Here I am on Tuesday having my second round of chemo. My oncologist is wanting my nausea side effects to be very little so I have to quote my favorite line "better living thru chemistry." I will also be receiving injections in the days ahead to tell my bone marrow to produce more white cells. Got to paint a picture with that visual image.

During my treatment Dan and I received a phone call from Leah telling us the doctor is inducing her today Wednesday Feb. 27. Please pray for the delivery of this little girl, her health and Leah's health.

Grandchild and Chemo

Our fourth grandchild, Katharine Leah, is due today Feb.25. Leah has been asking to be enduced for the past month knowing my ability to travel would have few windows. Leah goes to the doctor tomorrow. Please pray Katharine will be born soon. Also pray against a blizzard as the hospital is 15 minutes north towards Lake Ontario. (I have been teasing her about a home birth) I am sad that I cannot help Leah out more. She has a loving family and church family in and around Fulton, NY to care for her. Dan and I will get there as soon as I am able to travel without the risk of infection. Chris and Leah have 2 boys age 3 Aiden and Jonah.

My second chemo treatment is tomorrow Feb. 26. This time my oncologist will change and add some meds to help with the nausea and vomiting as well as keep a close eye on my white cell count.

After shaving my head I had this question cross my mind, what if my hair never fell out?

Smooth Shaving

I love the way Nancy has embraced this adventure. When her hair began to fall out, she decided it was time to take control. So, this past week, Nancy O and Lynn L came over for a shearing party. Dinner followed.

It's kinda shocking to see Nanc without a head covering or a wig. But also waaay cooool!

Hinds' Feet On High Places

While in the hospital I read this book by Hannah Hurnard. Two nurses specifically asked me about what I was reading. I told them the book was about listening to God's voice even if He seems to call you to paths which look impossible or even crazy. Glad I am home, but I wish I could have talked with them more. This does not mean I want to have another hospital stay. I am 100% better this week and so very happy to be back at home. Thank you for all your prayers.

General Chao and Broccoli Chicken to go, please!

Her white bloodcell count above normal, and her temp below normal (98.2), Nancy was discharged this morning.It is wondeful to have her home! Thinking we will do the Chinese tonight!!

Who is that Masked Woman?

With her lowered resistance to disease, Nancy had to slip on a surgical mask for our walk through the halls of Abington Hospital last night. It had been a tough few days. But today her fever seems gone and her white blood cells are returning home. We are praying that she can come home tomorrow.

The older we get, the more we are reminded that suffering marks this life. It is fascinating to see how people respond to the nevitable, unpleasant visitation of sorrow. Along the road we have encountered folks embittered by their woes. And then, there are those who emerge from the dark night of the soul tender, merciful still full of love and hope.

This week I was blessed to hear Becky pray for Nancy with compassion and insight, almost a year to the day after she was seperated from her dad by cancer. This morning Art dropped by the hospital to visit Nancy, although that meant revisiting the loss of his first wife years ago. Tonight I came home to find brownies from Andree who chose mercy over self pity to reach out to us.

Each of these dear friends live out Paul's challenging affirmation that "suffering produces perserverance....character and hope....and hope doesn't disappoint us. So, whenever you ask HIM to lift this suffering from our home, entreat HIM to lead us away from bitterness and self absorption toward the avenue of hope expressed in love.

Valentine's Surprise

We had planned a quiet celebration. I was going to get Chinese takeaway on the way home from work. But that was not to be.
Yesterday Nancy awoke with a fever. A quick trip to the oncologist landed her back in the hospital as her bloodcount was not good and her fever lingered.
She is resting comfortable as they seek to bring her fever down, and determine its source. This is an all too frequent consequence of chemo we hear. But we need to get her count back up to continue chemo on February 26.
Meanwhile, I give thanks for the way our early life forged our union, preparing us to weather the current storm. More than that, I marvel at the way Nancy's patience and good humor point me to Christ as she leans into suffering.

Stomaches and thoughts of shame

I am a lot better today. Back to eating normal food. Friday and Saturday were my hardest days with nausea and vomiting. Hopefully, we can do better during my second round on February 25 as we work with the medical team at Abington.

Meanwhile, I think the most emotional times I have experienced during the discovery of cancer, the surgery and the start of chemo have been over my impending hair loss. I am not particularly attached (so to speak)to my greying hair, even after it was colored red almost 2 years ago in Greece.

But I find myself at times attached to the emotion of shame. As a child I was unable to get away from humiliation. That shame was brought on by indecent conduct towards me. That was the cancerous attack upon a child. Sin.

It has only been in the past few years that I have been able to inch my way toward understanding this emotion. Shame is painful. Once again it raises its ugly head. I have had to learn a lot about forgiveness. And the lessons continue as I once again have to inch away from shame.

Yuck!

The aftermath of Nancy's first treatment has beeen predictable, and on schedule. Her sideaffects are nausea and headaches. Each day since Tuesday has been a little yuckier. No surprises, but no fun.

We have been drawn to Psalm 16, which tells us:

"I have set the Lord always before me, Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure."

As we head into the future, we are asking HIm to ease the yuckiness, keep Nancy's resistance to other disease strong, to use the chemo and to beat back the unwelcome visitor. In short, to keep her body resting secure!

A Double Portion

Today we began chemo. The Second Chapter of the War against the unwelcome visitor we detected last fall is under way.

But before we began. Several of our elders came over last night to pray for Nancy and annoint her with oil. It was a sacred, strengthening time.

I have no idea how to measure the impact of this treatment, but it brought deep comfort to us.

Then this morning we went to Abington Hospital to wage chemical warfare against the foe. They found a good vein quickly and she sat in a chair while potentially healing fluid flowed into her body. Meanwhile, I waited by her side with my laptop, doing some writing and planning.

So far tonight she feels a bit funky, but "not too bad." We will see what tomorrow brings, but tonight we are thankful for the successful start of the second round of our fight.

Super Tuesday

Last Saturday nite I had dinner with women from New Life who have been treated for cancer. This was a wonderful faith building time for me to be with some who have walked before me.

I know for sure I will be losing my hair and having other side effects. This is scary but exciting at the same time. You may wonder why in the world would I think losing my hair is exciting. The scary part was considering getting my hair shaved off before tomorrow. I decided not to. I did buy a wig today thanks to Susan Traylor driving me as we toured parts unknown to end up finding a great wig shop very close to home.
Back to the exciting part of this journey:
I believe that God redeems everything. He has redeemed me from the curse. He has redeemed my soul. He has redeemed brokeness in my childhood, brokeness on the mission field, brokeness as a parent, brokeness in our marriage. He is already using the cancer for His glory. This is exciting!

"Blessed is the man who
trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted
by the water
that sends out its roots by
the stream.
It does not fear when heat
comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of
drought
and never fails to bear
fruit." Jeremiah 17:7,8

Chemo Coming

We had been praying for clarity about the next step. Yesterday we got it. The test results plainly suggested that Nancy should do a round of chemo.

She will start on Tuesday February 5, receive four rounds of treatment, that is, one round every three weeks, finishing in early April. Yeah, we had hoped to avoid drinking this cup. So, after a month of consistently "good" news yesterday was bumpy.

On the other hand, we are that much more thankful for early detection, and a quick surgery. Nancy responded in her own unique way. Facing the prospect of hair loss, she immediately embraced the thought of having a blonde wig for Monday, Redhair for Tuesday, etc., etc. You gotta love her!