I am sometimes awed by how much kindness I have felt the past year. So often a hand is reached out to me when I am in agony and despair. Often that hand has been at the end of a limb of a person who themselves has suffered great pain. The fellowship of his suffering spoken of in Philippians 3:10 includes those who experience disappointment, disease and the a loved one's death. And that kind of fellowship with a fellow sufferer is deep and gentle and loving. My friend who recently pointed me to Psalm 27 knows a sorrow that no one should bear. But that suffering brought a calming spirit to me this week. As an added gift, that passage also reassured another who travels this valley of tears.
How odd it was this morning to realize that God had "given me" that verse the day before Nancy died as we waited with torn hearts for her to stop suffering, for her to go Home, for us to lose her gentle presence in our lives. What a symmetrical path His Word takes in our lives.
So tonight, I am amazed by the severe grace of mourning the sadness even as I experience the blessings he still will offer. That is what it has meant to fight and to wait this day.
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