Yesterday I submitted the last FSA claim form, dealt with most of the financial issues and sorted through most of the clothing, and moved the furniture around. Of course some things remain untidy, but we are pretty much through of taking care of Nancy and her homegoing. It sad and scary to admit that.
I need to stop opening drawers and remembering. This is a perfect moment to "blow the whistle, and get out of the pool." So, I am headed to the Jersey shore a week.
For a week, I want to rest. This has been a grueling year and I just want to lay around, or wonder aimlessly down the beach.
For a week, I want to reflect. I never followed Jesus before I met Nancy. Then I asked her to marry me on my 21st birthday. How do I follow Jesus as just "Dan," and not half of "Dan&Nancy?" I might want to think about it.
For a week, I want to write. The story of danandnancysjourney was only partly told here. It may be worth recording more of the story while it still feels so fresh to me.
Yes, I am going alone. Yes, that might be weird. Yes, I will come home early if I start calling volleyballs by their brand names. Yes, I may post while I am there.
Yes, Yes, and Yes I want you to pray for this time. Nancy's last post included the desire for God to meet her. He did in a wise and unique and complete. Pray that my Father meets me as I ponder how to continue the journey.
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17 comments:
"I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to Your word. ... My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word." Ps 119:25,28.
May God's WORD to you preserve your life and strengthen you as you continue to put one foot in front of the other. We will pray for you.
Dan,
We will be praying for you at the Shore while you reflect on the wonders of what our Lord has done in your lives together and now as you seek Him in His taking you by the hand and leading you along the next phase of your life here on earth.
We love you. Gene and Ginny List
Dan,
We would like to express our love, prayers, and sympathy following Nancy going home to be with the Lord. The news of Nancy's death following her battle with cancer hit us hard because we have great love and affection for both of you. You both have always been so loving and hospitable every time we came through the sending center. Nancy was one of the people who assessed me (Brian) the first time I went through assesment as an apprentice with World Harvest Mission. We have always been thankful for the godly wisdom which both of you passed on to us. We are very thankful for Nancy's life; for her hospitality, love, her genuine care for people. Thank you Nancy for your life and for God's work in you.
Love,
Brian and Roseena Vander Waal
London, UK
I woke up yesterday praying for you!
May your time together with Jesus be a glorious one. Let your hair down, put your dukes up, whatever you two need to do.
This is an extremely great thing to do...
I will be praying for your time together.
Hi Dan. I think your idea of taking a week to be alone and process through some of your grief is a lovely one. I have found in working through the loss of Jess that being alone or just with my husband has been the most healing thing to do. It must work quite differently for most, since almost all of my friends and family have had a difficult time accepting and understanding my need to pull inward as I have sorted through the immense number of layered emotions that must be faced when a loved one goes Home much earlier than we had anticipated.
I have been seeing a counselor weekly and talk to my husband and one close friend quite a bit as I rebuild a life that does not include my daughter here with me, but I have also found that God can speak quite clearly and specifically to my needs when I am just alone. Many times I am not even consciouly praying, nor do I even know what to ask the Lord for, yet I find in the quiet and stillness He often brings verses or even more often certain songs to mind, and as I receive them, I have written them down and carry them in my purse everywhere I go to reflect on God's truth.
Hope you don't mind me sharing a bit about my own experience - I just want you to know my prayers are with you during this scheduled "alone time," and I know that God can and will use the quiet to speak peace and comfort to your very broken heart. God bless - Cindy
I am Praying that you feel your Fathers arms around you and you hear His voice. He loves you deeply.
Ger
we will be prayin'!
-lori & jim lovelady
I'll be praying, Dan! Hugs!!!
Dan--I will be praying. We are so sad and grieve with you. I couldn't help but think of that poem/prayer "Footprints" after reading this last post. I'm thankful that you don't go without your older Brother. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Allie Stryd
Dan,
Here is Lamentations 3 from The Message. The Myhres gave it to us when we were going through a difficult time, and now I pass it on to you, along with an excerpt from Psalm 19:
I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
The taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember--
The feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there’s one other thing I remember,
And remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
His merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning,
How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with GOD (I say it over and over).
He’s all I’ve got left.
God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
To the woman who diligently seeks.
It’s a good thing to quietly hope,
Quietly hope for help from GOD.
It’s a good thing when you’re young
To stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
Go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The “worst” is never the worst.
Why? Because the Master won’t ever
Walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
In throwing roadblocks in the way . . .
Psalm 19 (The Message):
The revelation of Yahweh is whole
and pulls our lives together.
The signposts of Yahweh are clear
and point out the right road.
The life-maps of Yahweh are right,
showing the way to joy.
The directions of Yahweh are plain
and easy on the eyes.
Yahweh's reputation is twenty-four carat gold,
with a lifetime guarantee.
The decisions of Yahweh are accurate
down to the nth degree.
I hope this doesn't feel preachy. I share it merely to encourage you and give you hope, as it did for us. We'll be praying for you.
Wendy Gray
Yesterday - sorting through clothes, finishing up financial stuff - sounds rough. We'll be praying that these few days away are all the things you want and need it to be.
we will be praying. the jersey shore is always a healing place for me! - laura
dad, finally got to read the blog again. thanks for writting. i miss mom!
dad, finally got to read the blog again. thanks for writting. i miss mom!
Dan--
We've been thinking of and praying for your family since hearing of Nancy's homegoing. Thank you for sharing through and in spite of your grieving process. Much love to you all, and we will continue to pray.
In Christ,
Kelsey (Baldwin) Reed
Dan,
Praying for you this week. We look forward to seeing how Jesus shapes you in this part of the journey. Please continue to tell us about it.
Mary
Dan,
I am so sorry for the loss of your ministry partner, best friend, wife... One day we'll see Jesus. The mirror will be clear and we will understand... it will all make sense. Until then, I hurt with you. May God strengthen and comfort you. Enjoy His presence as seen and felt in the power of the ocean.
Love, Laura Keyser
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