Good Test Results

Yesterday we learned that both Nancy's bone scan and brain MRI were negative, that is cancer free. This is good news for it indicates that the cancer has not spread beyond the liver area. Combine that with our earlier news that the cancerous areas there have shrunk and it feels safe to say that the spring crisis is over and now we are into managing the chronic state of metastatic breast cancer. We rejoice in this news

Now the journey enters a different phase. This is a phase of trial and error as we learn what we can and can't do, what does and does not work in managing the Unwelcome Visitor who remains lurking in the shadows. Just let me say quickly that I am still trying to make work "work" and I have to fight the tendency to hover or fret. How does HIS grace free me from such concerns as we continue this siege?

Meanwhile and most importantly, Nancy's chemo is a grueling regimen for her to endure. After a good few days, she bottomed out over this weekend; she became dehydrated and her blood pressure dropped. This was because the drugs unsettle her stomach, etc. Yesterday she got IV fluids which rejuvenated her. Now we are trying to set up the option of getting IV fluids at home between trips to Abington Hospital. This could help keep her strength up. We still have 2 more rounds of this drug. Pray that the side effects would lessen even as the chemo kills more of the cancer. And pray for August to bring a Chemo Holiday!

Speaking of prayer, I have been pondering a neglected aspect of prayer in my life. Some of you know that I have a loud voice and can prayer with some level of passion in public. It's a gift I suppose, even though it does sometimes seem to make me appear more pious than I am. But as I watch Nancy's quiet acceptance of what the hand of the Lord gives her each day, as we go through some days to tired and weak to formulate long prayers, I see another way of talking with My Father. My conversations with HIM should more often involve Receiving from Him rather than "instructing Him." Jesus' last prayer on the Cross was "Father into your hands I commend my spirit." In that moment he surrendered to the will and to the care of His Father. Perhaps that is the essence of the Spirit's work intervening for us with sighs too deep for words---a profound affirmation that we must yield to the care of Him who loves us and numbers each of our steps. Sometimes in prayer I can only say, "Dad, I give up, You get us through the next part of the journey. You know best anyway."

How freeing it can be to pray like that, letting go of the illusion of self-direction., trusting him to steer us through the bumpy seas and bring us safe to port.