I often grow impatient with the slow pace of the walk through this valley. I would love to clear this land of grief and sadness. Quickly and Permanently. Instead I find myself sometimes stuck, as if waddling in quick sand. With no warning.
Take tonight. Two good friends were bringing us dinner tonight and staying to eat with us. So, I was looking forward to having the house resonate with laughter and lively conversation again. Before they came I decided to look through the mail. Foolishly I decided to check the letter from Kay's Jewelers, wanting to make sure it was not a new credit card or something. Instead the letter contained coupons for the upcoming season's sales. And I was stuck again. Reliving the memories of the Journey Deepens necklace that I gave her at Christmas. I was angry at myself for inviting this emotion right before my friends arrived. I delivered a stern rebuke to ME for being so foolish. And pulled my boots out of the quicksand, to eat Mexican food and welcome Tanna the dog into Teddie's liar. Another day wading through hidden swamps of the valley of grief. Part of the journey. Part of paying the cost of love forward.
I was struck by Kathryn's comment about my health. "Our bodies often grieve the loss of someone we love." Very perceptive. The following link documents her intuition: http://www.medicinenet.com/guide.asp?s=ef&k=medicinenet.com&a=52318
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