When I arrived at Keystone yesterday morning I noticed Nancy's breathing had changed. It had grown shallower over night. As the day wore on, those shallow breathes were occasionally interrupted by deep sighs, gasps or snores. Clearly the end stage process has entered another phase.
While the wonderful staff at Keystone attended to her physical care, we bathed her in music, conversation, touches, Scripture and prayer. Her responses are limited to small changes of expression. I remember Chris, Leah and KJ reading Scripture to her, Jonah popping in to say, "I love you Amma," laying beside her while we tuned in to a couple of innings of Phillies baseball, and reading the latest section from Monod in which we are reminded that because the resurrection of Jesus has happened, so to has ours. Her lips puckered up one more time as we kissed goodnight before leaving her to Leah's overnight care. These sweet moments are all mingled with tears. It is hard to hang on, to let go, to wait.
Today Nancy turns 55. I gave her 10 red roses yesterday. (Roses had been my present on her 21st birthday) Perhaps HE will give her the best birthday gift ever today. We see that the present of perfect peace is wrapped, we wait with her for HIS delivery call.
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19 comments:
Dan and all,
It is Sunday morning-- we will gather at church soon to celebrate again our older Brother's resurrection-- and be praying for you all often this day. Jesus is with you, and you are showing us His presence
Kurt and Debby
thank you Jesus for this sweet lady. Thank you Nancy for always making me feel welcomed and loved. Your faith always so real, so encouraging. Simply, so like Him. We love you guys.
The Stryds
Thinking of you more than ever on your birthday, Nancy.
Having waited this year for a loved one to 'go home' we enter this waiting room experience yet again with you. Praying hourly for Nancy to have the experience of seeing heavenly realms with her physical eyes in your presence.
I just realized a few months ago thanks to Facebook that Nancy and I share the same birthday. I will forever think of her and thank God for her life (and you too, Dan) from this birthday forward. Please give her a gentle squeeze from me. - Laura
"Behold, I am making all things new." What a great hope we all have, for Nancy and for ourselves.
Ron
Happy Birthday Nancy. We love you, Dan, and the children. Thank you Lord, for a wonderful gift this lady is to many far and near.
Thank you for letting us join in on this journey with you, and sharing with us. We will continue to pray as Nancy's earthly journey draws to a close, and she is called to her heavenly home.
Ed and Daisy
Read the last chapter of "The Silver Chair" to the kids tonight, in which Eustace is hesitant to greet the restored king, whom he has just seen die. He asks Aslan "Didn't he die?" and Aslan replies, "Yes, most people have, and so have I, only a very few have not." Quite a different perspective on normality. Thanks for sharing the day to day moments for the rest of us who aspire to your faithfulness. Love, Jennifer and Scott
I am praying and thinking of your family and Nancy often. I know God will meet you with His peace and comfort as He did my family years ago. Nancy's journey seems so similar to my mom's and she went home to be with the Lord at this same time. My heart hurts for you all but I know that GOd is faithful and he catches your tears just as He did mine. Thank you for sharing such an incredible journey on your blog, it is a true testament of your family and Nancy's faith in Jesus.
With Love, Lydia Herron
Praying for you as grief comes in the midst of the waiting...and that joy will bring deep comfort too. The mingledness of all of this can be exhausting so I am praying NOW for a renewal of your spirits!
Dan and family, my heart is breaking for you as you prepare to face this time of separation from Nancy. I pray for God to give you the strength to bear the sadness, and I know that He will be faithful to do so. We can never know why God has chosen to call Nancy home now, but what a legacy she is leaving of love and devoted care of your family and the many people whose lives she has touched with her graciousness and hospitality. Though I have never met her or any of you, the faith and character all of you display has been such an encouragement to me. You have helped me walk my path of grief with more faith and courage, and I am praying that I can now pray with compassion for the rough days you are facing. We know that Nancy will soon be free of pain and sorrow and in the arms of our sweet Jesus, and He will help you bear your sorrow until you join her there. The angels are even now preparing to greet her, and I really believe that my sweet Jess will be in Nancy's welcoming party when her spirit leaves her earthly body and she joins "the saints who from their labors rest." With much love, Cindy Nore
Dear ones, we walk with you these days in our prayers...because of the time difference, perhaps during hours that others are sleeping. May God continue to sustain you all and grant you much grace.
Hugs and prayers,
Bob and Miriam Phillips
Dan, today is also my birthday. I never realized that Nancy and I shared the same day.
I will never forget our wonderful trip together to visit Suzanne Scott in Berlin in 1998. It was such a wonderful week and I so loved Nancy's transparency and honesty as we had some intense times of fellowship together.
Nancy's art is all over our house.....a reminder of how very special she is.
Much love to you and to her. Our prayers are with you.
Sandy Smallman
With love to you, Dan.. trusting in the Strength that raised Jesus from the dead.. So we don't grieve like those with no hope.
Johnny and Becky Long
Rob and I remember you and Nancy mentoring us before our marriage. We have never forgotten your charge to us. We have always appreciated your hosipitality and have adopted your mentality. That people are always welcome and you didn't feel obliged to entertain. This always made us feel comfortable being with you guys.
I so appreciated Nancy coming to my house a few months ago and talking with me about the discipline of our son (after reading my struggles on the blog) and giving me the Dobson books (they have been so helpful and I will always remember her as we read them, they have been made more precious now). She said to me that day "its just hard" (discipline). I remember never feeling defensive with Nancy because she understood where I was and how I was feeling. Thank you Nancy.
I cry for you all as you go through this. Thank you for all you have given to us.
Love,
Rob and Mary
Thank you Dan and your family for being such a loving, caring support to Nancy in your Journey together. Jesus will hold all of you as you go to the next transition. He will carry you. I know. Love Joanne Stahl
May the Lord enable your tears to flow freely--both the tears of unbearable loss and the tears of unspeakable joy. And may He not only give Nancy new life without pain in her new home but also new life to you Dan--life that can come only as Jesus walks through your enduring pain with you. We ache for you and groan with you. Love, Donovan and Wilma
I spoke with Jenny Carns last week and heard the news about Nancy.
Nancy was my soroity sister way back in the 1970's and she cut the cake at my wedding in 1974. Unfortunately, I don't remember talking with her much since then.
I am SO sorry to have received this news. I remember that I accepted Christ at KSU in the Kappa Delta sorority house and I think Nancy did, too.
Since I heard this news I have prayed for Nancy and your family and I will continue to hold Nancy up to the Lord that his presence would be very real to all of you.
Nancy Concord Hammel
hammel@kansas.net
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