This news tears us in two different directions. On the one hand, I am ready for her to be free of the pain of this life, and to rest completely. But I don't look forward to the last severing of earthly ties. I am glad that HE understands this dilemma, that I can just share it with HIM, without having to reconcile these twin tugs.
Meanwhile, the kids and I are just plain tired. We long to close the book on this difficult chapter. I am ashamed to write this, given the fact that Nancy is struggling so hard to complete her part of the journey. As is often the case, dying is work, hard work.
This morning I read Nancy PS 142 and found this prayer compelling:
Rescue me from my prison
that I may praise your name
So, join with us in asking HIM to liberate Nancy from this cancerous prison which has broken her body and closed her mind that so that she can actively, consciously, willingly, perfectly praise HIM. And meet us as we let go of a great wife, mom and "amma."
26 comments:
It is difficult to put into words what to write or say. I rejoice that being Christians, we don't see Nancy going as an end to all, but rather to another beginning for her. And that you will see each other again. Our love to your family, Dan and Nancy.
I am gratefully partnering with you in prayer for all the you've requested. That the Lord gently gathers Nancy into His loving arms, while at the same time holding the rest of the family close.
~ Joyce Shotts
Oh, we will pray. Thank you so much for making the effort, in the midst of your own weariness and grief, to keep us aware of what is happening so that we can pray more specifically.
I want to share a story with you. A few years ago, three friends and I went to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. Two of our company were accomplished skaters, strong, and skilled. The other two of us weren't. But I was persuaded to go out on the ice anyway. I agreed to do so, stating that my goal was to finish the afternoon without breaking any bones.
I did all right for a while, inching along the edge of the ice while my friends chatted and skated round and round the rink. (The fourth in our company prudently stood on firm ground, cheering for us.)
All of a sudden, I drifted into the middle of the rink, where I found myself surrounded by fast, capable skaters of all ages. (Being outskated by a five year old smarts, by the way.)
I felt a rush of fear and vulnerability out in the middle of that icy rink. I saw no way of making it to the safety of the edge without getting knocked down and likely hurting someone else in the process.
At that very moment, I felt the reassuring presence of my two strong friends, one at my right elbow, the other at my left. They'd skated up behind me and invited me to lean on them; they would help me and steer me safely to the edge. What relief flooded through me. I still recall the comfort it was to be supported by loving friends in my weakness and fear.
That, Dan and family, is what we as your church family want to be for you. We want to uphold you now as well as later. And we entrust you to the strongest and most comforting of all arms, the Everlasting Arms.
Praying and weeping with and for you.
Jesus will welcome her grandly.
Now the day drew on that Christiana must be gone. So the Road was full of
People to see her take her Journey. But behold all the Banks beyond the River
were full of Horses and Chariots, which were come down from above to accompany
her to the City Gate. So she came forth and entered the River, with a beckon
of Farewell to those that followed her to the River-side. The last word she
was heard to say here was, "I come Lord, to be with thee and bless thee."
At her departure her Children wept, but Mr Greatheart and Mr Valiant
played upon the well-tuned Cymbal and Harp for Joy.
Joy and sorrow mingled, as ever. She will have stepped away, to change out of her work clothes for the Supper that you both are invited to, and you will see her there.
From the Book of Common Prayer: "May the Lord Almighty grant me and those I love a peaceful night and a perfect end, Amen."
This is what we're praying for all of you, dear Dan, Nancy, Leah, Josh, and KJ.
My heart hurts for you and your family my brother....
-Grant
LOVE you all so much and are praying for God's peace and comfort.
Dot & Eddie Huff
Ohh my heart hurts for everyone, I will be fasting and praying for you all as these next few days approach.
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
"Trust in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength" Isaiah 26:4
Hugs and kisses,
Andrea
I know you are tired my friend. This is the great enemy. The last battle in our fight against the curse. We will worship together soon. We will gather to remember and believe. We will wait together for the restoration of all things.
Hunter
Dan & Nancy,
We were fortunate to meet you both over 30 years ago while at K-State. Keeping in contact thru the years by your World Harvest Mission Newsletters made us feel still connected. After all, God is still the God of the "near and far ones" in our family of Christ.
As we read of Nancy's approaching time to make her final move to Heaven, We are deeply saddened. Sad for you Dan and your family. We do rejoice that Nancy will finally be free to worship her Savior and Lord w/o pain. Oh the Joy! Oh the Joy when her love for her Lord will finally be completed, perfected.
You are both in our prayers. Praying God's mercy and love will lift you both with his Healing Wings. "But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings." Malachi 4:2
Dan,
There is no shame in admitting you are tired. Part of how God made us is that human beings get tired. I've often wondered why God allows one of His to linger like this....Nancy's ready to meet Jesus....has been for a long time. He knows the exact time He will gather her to Him. Maybe those who love Nancy the most become tired in their vigil of love so that when He who created us finally takes her, He will leave those precious loved ones with "rest for the weary" and the "peace that passes all understanding." Thank you for your faithfulness in honoring Nancy's wishes to give God the glory through all of this....you have allowed God's grace to touch so many by keeping this open journal. Wishing you the rest and peace that only God will give to you and your precious children.
Randy and Jennie
I know you and your family are exhausted, as Nancy must be also, and it is totally understandable that you are longing for this chapter to be closed. Dying is indeed incredibly hard work, as is walking the grief road you are on and will be on for some time as Nancy makes her final departure to her new, forever Home. Joining with your family in prayer for all you have requested, and asking the Father to gently come and carry Nancy to her new home in Heaven, where she will be free of pain and will be fully restored to health and happiness and fulfillment and peace. And she will await all of your arrivals to join her there one day, and you will be daily in my prayers during those days of separation. With love and sorrow with you - Cindy
Dan, you and Nancy and your family are being lifted up in prayer.
Jesus will soon come for your precious Nancy and take her home. I know your pain is great. Just know, that we are praying for you when you are unable to pray for yourself.
Dear Dan,
Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love; the fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above.
Before our Father's throne we pour our ardent prayers; our fears, our hopes, our aims, are one, our comforts and our cares.
We share our mutual woes, our mutual burdens bear, and often for each other flows the sympathizing tear.
When we asunder part, it gives us inward pain; but we shall still be joined in heart, and hope to meet again.
This glorious hope revives our courage by the way; while each in expectation lives, and longs to see the day.
From sorrow, toil and pain, and sin, we shall be free; and perfect love and friendship reign through all eternity.
Thank you for welcoming us in to your and Nancy's journey, to weep with you as you weep, laugh with you as you laugh, and to join our hearts always in fervent prayer for you both. We and our entire church family are so privileged to have shared this walk with you, our brother and sister. This experience has been very hard, but very precious.
Our deep love to your family,
Roger and Karen
I've been praying for you and your family these past few months - not knowing what to say, but going to our Father on your behalf. My heart is heavy to think of Nancy's passing soon. She will be greatly missed. I pray God will draw close to you and fill you with His peace. And that He will comfort your heart in knowing that as Nancy finishes this race she will enter into glory to hear her Savior say, "Well done thou good and faithful servant" as she is received into His loving arms. I'm sure she will be beaming as she wears her crown of righteousness.
Continually lifting all of you up to our Father in prayer. In His love, Christy
i saw josh at the thrift store today. i can't begin to imagine the range of emotions that young man is dealing with. and you as a granddad, and leah and kj as aunts.
and now, to see nancy just so very close to the side of Jesus... it really is exhausting... we want to hold her feet down to stay with us but we want more for her to be whole and healthy and with Jesus.
the communion we shared last sunday was our final one together on this earth, but there is yet to be a brighter and better one, where we will all be together, and the lamb that was slain for us will be among us. and there will be no more pain, no more tears, no more suffering.
love
judi
I know that it has been a long time since we've last seen, but I am praying for you guys. I pray that the move goes well.
-Christian Mikesell
I just weep as I read what you are going through in these last days and hours, but oh how you have blessed and challenged me as have those who have written to encourage you. As I lay awake last night, unable to fall asleep, I prayed again for you, for endurance, for peace, for the courage to let Nancy go. I too want to thank you for being so candid about the struggles and the questions. Each one of us who has watched you and the family wrestle with the pain of watching Nancy suffer and the agony of letting her go, has been in a way discipled by you, Nancy, and your children. Praise, glory and honor to Jesus for your faith-fullness. Love and prayers,
Debby
Dear Dan..
(thanks, Becky Wilson, for that story.. fantastic)..
My mom died 1 1/2 yrs before my daddy.. and he prayed all the time to be free from his body as well.. we were so thankful when the Father sent a special disease to take him Home to be with Jesus.. so I know exactly how you feel.. and it is better to be free and with the Lord.. Thanks for your honesty..
Praying with you..
Becky (for Johnny too) Long
Praying for you during this difficult time. I can sense the hosts of heaven and earth lifting you all up, you are not alone.
The Good's
Have been praying that you and Nancy would know the nearness of Jesus. Am rejoicing that to Nancy, a faithful warrior, will soon come sweet rest in the very presence of the Lord. Yet I am sorrowing with you that her earthly presence amongst us, so dear to you and your family and to so many others, will be no more. May your souls find rest in God alone, your rock, your salvation, your fortress, your refuge (Ps. 62).
The golden evening brightens in the west;
Soon, soon to faithful warriors comes their rest;
Sweet is the calm of paradise the blest, Alleluia. Allelu.
But lo! There breaks a yet more glorious day;
The saints triumphant rise in bright array;
The King of glory passes on his way, Alleluia. Allelu.
From earth’s wide bounds, from ocean’s farthest coast,
Through gates of pearl streams in the countless host,
Singing to Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Alleluia. Alleluia.
(W. How)
Dan and Nancy,
I'm not really sure what to say...May God's grace cover you through and in this. Please know that you both are loved and being thought of.
In Christ,
Marcus
Dan, Leah, Josh and KJ, know that Hunter and I are thinking of and praying for you! We know some of your struggle - my dad died in hospice 10 days after a massive stroke. before that we all struggled with his alzheimers. so we know of your dueling emotions and are praying accordingly. Hugs all around from all five of us.
Dan, Nancy, & family -
I wanted to let you know how much you all have touched my heart. We don't know one another, but I found your story through Roger Clark's page; I am an old friend of his son and daughter-in-law, Andrew & Erin Clark. I've been tracking your updates for the last few months and am deeply saddened as Nancy closes this chapter and begins a new heavenly one. Please know you are cloaked in prayers and love, from those near and far.
I pray for comfort and peace for each of you. My father-in-law passed away in March '01 after a long illness and so I understand, in some part, the difficulty and conflicting emotions of these last few days. Thank you for sharing your journey with us so that we may better support you through it and in turn give Him glory.
Peace, April
This is indeed not what we were designed for, to pray these difficult prayers to be torn between two world - both very real. We do join you in prayer asking Him for His best, asking Him to fully satisfy Nancy's soul with Himself.
Our hearts ache for this gathering knowing that she will be absent, a gathering where we will remember and worship and bless His name even in this taking.
We love you and we'll see you soon.
Wendy and Ger
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