A month of letting go

We entered July with much uncertainty; no idea how Nancy's chemo was going. It felt like we were holding our breath. Since that time we continue to hear encouraging test results and Nancy is more engaged with life as the days pass. I am back at work more or less full-time. KJ completed a great trip to Romania. Leah has resumed life in Fulton NY as her first anniversary draws near. We had not counted on any of this on July 1. Yeah, God has been very good this month.

Nevertheless, we have spent the week jumping from one issue to another: high pulse rate, CAT Scans, scheduling new doctor's appointments, stomach aches, low blood pressure and home infusions. How can we handle it? We begin to feel like little Dutch kids sticking our fingers in the dike to hold back the raging sea. Then I remember HIM, the One who is before all things, and in whom all things hold together. Let him hold down this storm front.

Time to catch our breath?

Dr. Nordlinger called this evening to tell us that the latest CT scan showed that Nancy's tumors continue to shrink. I promised a little something in her pay packet at the end of the month. (She is still trying to figure us out.) Seriously, that is great news.

We probably will hit the pause button on next week's chemo, though. Most likely we will restart in a week or so. Nancy's heart is still racing and we all think it may be time to let her body recover before doing another round. Although none of the tests cause us to think anything is wrong with her heart, it seems time to visit a cardiologist. Pray for that visit.

We have to admit that delaying the last round of chemo worries us. We have the Unwelcome Visitor on the run, and we don't want to give him time to recover. However, we realize this journey is about balancing all aspects of Nancy's condition. So, pray for us to forsake fear, and remember that HE alone is the ultimate Case Manager.

Today in our weekly open prayer time here at the house, we took Psalm 131 as our call to prayer. It is about the state of our heart before him, and a call to trust in the Lord now and forever. May that be our point of rest and confidence as we contemplate the next few weeks.

Scan Down, Heart Rate STILL Up

This morning Nancy's oncologist told us she is farily certain that her rapid heart rate is triggered by the effects of chemo; the tesets have ruled out other causes for now. That would seem to point us toward a break from this regimen for now. We'll see what next Monday brings.

We then moved on to the afternoon Cat Scan. So, it's been a rough two days for Nancy. She is "weak as a kitten." But at least tonight she seems to be resting more comfortably.

Pray for her heart to slow down, for the tumors to vanish, for her strength to return.

It is good to have KJ home. The trip to Romania was a great confirmation time for her. It is glorious to see her striving to pursue her dreams, even as she partners with us daily in this difficult journey. Ask HIM to keep KJ lookin to HIM as her reference point as she moves ahead.

Sunday Morning Intrusions and Challenges

The Unwelcome Visitor so often seems to get one step ahead of us. He frequently hits us with an unplanned surprise. This morning Nancy's accelerated heart rate warranted attention. Thus began a 6 1/2 hour stay in the Abington Hospital ER as we underwent our second EKG this week, and a CT scan on the chest. After the test showed no evidence of clot or immediate trouble we were discharged. By then Nancy had spent lots of time strapped to a monitor waiting for answers, for relief, for a slower pulse.

Tomorrow will begin with a visit to her oncologist in pursuit of answers to her current insomnia and high heart rate. None of this was anticipated just a couple of days ago. Then we will take another CT scan to monitor the the state of the tumors in her liver. Once more the Unwelcome Visitor has dumped an unexpected surprise in our laps.

All this makes us feel completely out of control. It's also exhausting. Six hours in an ER cubicle is not the most relaxing way to spend Resurrection Day. It is, in fact, a particular kind of suffering. It is special privilege, the calling, the mission of this phase of the journey. Our Master and Savior asks us to learn to endure these unexpected intrusions with patience, love and joy in a way that glorifies him. This calling, like every other sacred charge, requires grace for the journey.

Meanwhile, ask HIM to bring calm, rest and a quiet heart to Nancy my best friend and companion, so that we might walk this path together for many unpredictable years to come.

The Parade Continues

Safe, sound and only a couple of hours late KJ made it home last night. She had a great trip, and thanks to jet lag she made an 8:10 appearance downstairs this morning so that we could continue "debriefing." Just now she gave us our "travel presents" a cute doll set for Mom and an awesome new cap for Dad. It's great to have her home!

Our Ireland and Uganda interns arrived in good order as well. We will spend a half day reconnecting with them before they disperse. They were buzzing about the summer as I drove from the airport yesterday.

Meanwhile, Josh and Anne have been running a summer Bible week for their inner-city Ark kids. Yesterday he dropped a collage-like sign by the house for Nancy.

Paul's description of the triumphant process seems appropriate for days like yesterday!!

up in the air!

At this moment KJ is up in the air between Milan and JFK as she heads back from Romania. All reports are that it was a great trip, but we can't wait for the face-to-face debrief.

Also, WHM interns are in the air as they return from Ireland and Africa. I will run to the Philadelphia airport today as we lead them through a brief debrief. I am currently working through some hiring issues for WHM's Mobilization team so right now lots of work stuff is up in the air.

We got Nancy's EKG results yesterday. No underlying serious caridio issues. Her accelerated heart rate seems tied to dehydration. So, at the moment she is hooked up to the home infusion unit absorbing saline. When can we get her heart to calm down? Will we do more chemo in a week or so? How has this month's treatments done in further chasing away the Unwelcome Visitor? Right now, those matters remain up in the air, too.

So, can we remember that line from a popular old hymn of the church,

"On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, All other ground is shrinking sand?"

Such truth to keep us grounded on a day when lots of stuff flies around us.

Nancy can still write!

I appreciate Dan's faithfulness in keeping up with the blog. This in oneof the few days after chemo I can function and can tolerate our bichon dog jumping on me. (she is convinced the hospital bed in our living room was put there just for her)

Ok, sometime today I will have an EKG as my pulse has been high . My white blood count is low and I feel a little beat up at times. But I also know this drug has been working to kill off the tumors. We will findout more when I have a CAT scan next Monday the 28th. (mmmm love that barium :(

Karen Joy our 22 year old arrives home tomorrow from Romania. This will be quite a culture shock for her. Knowing how her brain works she will have wonderful stories plus creative ideas. She has already included me in one of her projects about cancer. Please pray for safe travel.

I just want to thank you all all the thousands of people around the world who pray for me and 0ur family. Please remember to pray for my doctor who makes wise decisions for my well being.