Toot Toot

Guess I should back the choo-choo up to the station. There is really only one thing I am consistant with, in taking care of myself, and that is my yearly mammogram. Year after year it's the same normal test. This October 29 appointment began and ended routinely. A few days later I received a letter saying please call us to make an appt for another mammogram and ultrasound. In order to have both tests done on the same day I was given Nov.30. Afterwards, I was asked to wait in a little consulting room where they had folders for "fast track" patients. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out something was up. The radiologist doctor came in and compared last years mammogram and the one just taken. I saw it with my own eyes. He told me that it is 95% cancer. It was sort of an out of body experience. I felt numb and fearful. Dreading telling my sweet husband that I had a malignancy in my left breast. My first fearful thought was, will Dan still love me? Then I wondered does God still love me?

I have enjoyed reading Spurgeon's Morning and Evening. "He shall gather the lambs with His arms." Isaiah 40:11. Our good Shepherd has in His flock a variety of experiences. He is impartial in His care for all His sheep, and the weakest lamb is a dear to Him as the most advanced of the flock. He finds weak minds ready to faint and die, He consoles them and renews their strength. What a quick eye He must have to see them all. What a tender heart to care for them all. What a far reaching arm to gather them all. How gently did He gather me to Himself, to His truth, to His blood, to His love.