A better day today. Nancy is a bit stronger. She got a blood transfusion which should strengthen her. Slowly, she managed to get back on her feet and walk just a bit. She may be headed home tomorrow! However, her lung needs to mend just a bit more from the complications around her port insertion. DO PRAY ABOUT THAT.
We did conference with her oncolgist today. Here's the deal: We will take a shot at a couple of chemo drugs over the next few weeks. That will show us if we can slow down the raging forest fire burning inside her body. We should know how that goes soon. What happens next? As Dr. Nordlinger said, "You guys seem religious. All i Can say is, 'It's in God's hands.'"
We will leave it there...although sometimes I want him to let me drive. And I long to drive with Nancy in the seat next to me for a long time to come.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
picking up the pieces
It's almost like the picture of our lives was carved up this month and then dumped out on the table for us to reassemble....like a confusing game of "speed jigsaw."
I spent time sorting through this bewildering pile.
Nancy's current medical condition. Today we learned that lymph nodes around her bowels are cancerous. She has complications arising after the insertion of her port, but the Heimlich tube came out today. She is using morphine for the pain, and drifts in and out of a dreamlike state. I am wondering how long we should try to mount a counterattack through chemo. Should she come home? And what would that look like? Unfortunately, I couldn't connect with her oncolgist today. That was disappointing. Don't worry, I will be relentless tomorrow.
I did spend some time at the office, downloading the details of WHM's candidate week due to start Sunday. It helped to clear that off the deck for now.
The warm love of God somehow burst through the dark clouds of this day. Everywhere I turn people offer to help. Her room saw a parade of visitors. Some of them even met Nancy's childhood friend, Boo Boo Bear, and heard about our adventures with Boo Boo and the other stuffed animals we have. Later KJ and I sang children's songs about Jesus and held Nancy's hand as she settled to rest. Then we headed home, leaving her to have time with Josh, whose gentle heart so reminds me of Nancy.
Forget sorting this out. I just moved some pieces around the table today. Only our Loving Heavenly Father can put this mess in order. I will leave it to HIM.
I spent time sorting through this bewildering pile.
Nancy's current medical condition. Today we learned that lymph nodes around her bowels are cancerous. She has complications arising after the insertion of her port, but the Heimlich tube came out today. She is using morphine for the pain, and drifts in and out of a dreamlike state. I am wondering how long we should try to mount a counterattack through chemo. Should she come home? And what would that look like? Unfortunately, I couldn't connect with her oncolgist today. That was disappointing. Don't worry, I will be relentless tomorrow.
I did spend some time at the office, downloading the details of WHM's candidate week due to start Sunday. It helped to clear that off the deck for now.
The warm love of God somehow burst through the dark clouds of this day. Everywhere I turn people offer to help. Her room saw a parade of visitors. Some of them even met Nancy's childhood friend, Boo Boo Bear, and heard about our adventures with Boo Boo and the other stuffed animals we have. Later KJ and I sang children's songs about Jesus and held Nancy's hand as she settled to rest. Then we headed home, leaving her to have time with Josh, whose gentle heart so reminds me of Nancy.
Forget sorting this out. I just moved some pieces around the table today. Only our Loving Heavenly Father can put this mess in order. I will leave it to HIM.
Monday, May 26, 2008
A day requiring faith
We named this site "Danandnancysjourney" hoping that the saga would be long, chronicling our fight with breast cancer, the travels of two missionaireis and the joy of growing old togethr. But now it appears this part of our journey might be fairly short.
Yesterday we learned that cancer has spread fast. Her liver bears many cancer cells. Unless the new round of chemo significantly reverses this trend, this leg of the journy may well be a matter of weeks, according to one of her doctors.
She remains in the hospital today as they continue to work with her. Not sure for how long.
Nancy understands this situation. And she remains Nancy, thinking of others, joking, demonstrating the childlike faith that won me to an adult walk with Jesus, and her. We have been overwhelmed by the way HE has loved us through New Life Church, WHM, our neighbors and family. If you are in the area, feel free to touch base, knowing that we might not respond if the timing is not right.
I will not try to tell you how to pray. I expect that this is a time when the Spirit will intercede with sighs too deep for words.
One last thing. When I kissed her good night last night, she had never looked more beautiful.
Yesterday we learned that cancer has spread fast. Her liver bears many cancer cells. Unless the new round of chemo significantly reverses this trend, this leg of the journy may well be a matter of weeks, according to one of her doctors.
She remains in the hospital today as they continue to work with her. Not sure for how long.
Nancy understands this situation. And she remains Nancy, thinking of others, joking, demonstrating the childlike faith that won me to an adult walk with Jesus, and her. We have been overwhelmed by the way HE has loved us through New Life Church, WHM, our neighbors and family. If you are in the area, feel free to touch base, knowing that we might not respond if the timing is not right.
I will not try to tell you how to pray. I expect that this is a time when the Spirit will intercede with sighs too deep for words.
One last thing. When I kissed her good night last night, she had never looked more beautiful.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
hard news
Nancy had wanted us to pray for biopsy results before Memorial Day and that prayer was answered. But not with the news we had wanted to hear. The test confirmed that her cancer has reached her liver. This was an aggressive path. The doctors are moved right away. She went into the hospital to get a port and received chemo today. They are completing a battery of tests to define the scope of the situation. She may come back home tomorrow or Monday. We'll see.
The kids are all here and their support is wonderful. This is a family weekend, and we are wanting the time to be together and let Nancy get some rest after a rigours couple of days. So, if you are in our area, wait for me to put out the "visitors welcome sign" before you show up at our door.
It has been a stunning three weeks. We need prayer to begin the next leg of the journey with faith. And we need prayer that the disease will be rolled back by the One who know how we are formed.
The kids are all here and their support is wonderful. This is a family weekend, and we are wanting the time to be together and let Nancy get some rest after a rigours couple of days. So, if you are in our area, wait for me to put out the "visitors welcome sign" before you show up at our door.
It has been a stunning three weeks. We need prayer to begin the next leg of the journey with faith. And we need prayer that the disease will be rolled back by the One who know how we are formed.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
biospy day + 1
Not such a good day. Nancy had some nausea and is pretty listless. She is tired of feeling sick.
We will see the doctor again tomorrow. I am glad we will check in before the long weekend. But we don't expect any conclusive diagnosis 'til Tuesday.
Meanwhile, KJ fixed us some wonderful pasta with turkey sausage for dinner. We are glad for her company. It was also good to have 2 of our pastors stop by to pray for Nancy this afternoon. Those acts and others remind us that we are not alone. His people once again extend HIS love to us as we walk this road of unsettling uncertainty.
We will see the doctor again tomorrow. I am glad we will check in before the long weekend. But we don't expect any conclusive diagnosis 'til Tuesday.
Meanwhile, KJ fixed us some wonderful pasta with turkey sausage for dinner. We are glad for her company. It was also good to have 2 of our pastors stop by to pray for Nancy this afternoon. Those acts and others remind us that we are not alone. His people once again extend HIS love to us as we walk this road of unsettling uncertainty.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Test is over....The wait goes on
Nancy is resting comfortably after today's procedure. She seems relieved to have cleared that hurdle. She received some needed IV fluids this morning which strenthened her, and the sedition gave her some good sleep this afternoon.
Now we wait again. But we have reinforcements. KJ is home after graduating Magna Cum Laude from FIT. Leah and Chris will bring the fam down from Fulton for the weekend, and Josh, Anne and Lucia are staying in close touch.
It is good to be a family as we suffer this trial. We are not used to supporting Nancy in this way; she has always been a source of stablity and nurture for us all. But it is a great chance to find ways to return a few of the gestures of love she has given us for many, many years!
Now we wait again. But we have reinforcements. KJ is home after graduating Magna Cum Laude from FIT. Leah and Chris will bring the fam down from Fulton for the weekend, and Josh, Anne and Lucia are staying in close touch.
It is good to be a family as we suffer this trial. We are not used to supporting Nancy in this way; she has always been a source of stablity and nurture for us all. But it is a great chance to find ways to return a few of the gestures of love she has given us for many, many years!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
on the eve of a biopsy
Tomorrow at 7:30am Nancy will check in for her liver biopsy. Waiting for this test has felt long and difficult. She has not felt well for a couple of weeks, and we don't expect to have a plan to fight this current slide until we meet with her oncologist the day after Memorial Day.
Today at staff prayer meeting we discussed that familiar passage where Jesus offers us a light yoke. I confess I am not sure how to wear this yoke easily. But these days of unsettled uncertainty challenge us to live one moment at a time, to treasure the simple joy of partnering with Nancy as we walk this road, and to marvel at her capacity to think of others, even while she waits.
Then, too, I was reminded that the invitation of the passage was not primarily a custom made yoke that would make all of life painless. No, Jesus invites us to come to HIM. Pray for us as we walk through the next week. Ask JESUS call us to Himself in real ways, and for us to know the comfort of his embrace.
Today at staff prayer meeting we discussed that familiar passage where Jesus offers us a light yoke. I confess I am not sure how to wear this yoke easily. But these days of unsettled uncertainty challenge us to live one moment at a time, to treasure the simple joy of partnering with Nancy as we walk this road, and to marvel at her capacity to think of others, even while she waits.
Then, too, I was reminded that the invitation of the passage was not primarily a custom made yoke that would make all of life painless. No, Jesus invites us to come to HIM. Pray for us as we walk through the next week. Ask JESUS call us to Himself in real ways, and for us to know the comfort of his embrace.
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